Jokes and Juices
by Sekiryu
Summary: Jokes are harmless and fun,right? Yeah, right...A certain joke turn hazardous to a certain icy buchou.One Shot


**JOKES AND JUICES**

A/N : Wahey...my first fic, enjoy..

Disclaimer : I do NOT own Prince of Tennis nor the characters, except my precious Soujirou. All hail Konomi-sensei...

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"Yo! Ryoma-kun!" I call out as I pat his capped head, "genki desu ka?", as I peer into his face, cringing a little for having to stoop down due to his lack of height, giving myself a nice dose of neck pain. Ryoma's eye twitches at the honorific, I grin – he so hate that...heeheehee...

"Ne, you're not answering, Ryoma-sama!" He twitches again. My grin is positively getting wider, heeheehee...

"Ryoma-sama?" I ask again, eyebrow a little raised, grinning wider still. He twitched, yet again. If he keeps on twitching, people might start to think that he's having an epilapsy, and I told him so.

"I'm fine..." was the answer.

I smirked, "that's more like it, Ryo-chan!" He scowles and blushes at the name, as I take off his cap and rustle his hair – on purpose, of course. He hates it, and I know it. He tries to grab his cap back from my hand, yet, his shortness would not allow it. His fingers groping at the air where my hand was supposed to be. He frowns, I laugh. He tries jumping to grab his cap, I dodged, and he frowns further more. He's frowning so hard, you can clearly see the grove on his forehead. I'm practically dancing with glee now...heeheehee...can't touch me...heeheehee...

Eiji-senpai and Momo are howling with laughter, Oishi-senpai's looking worried – mother hen mode fully operational – thinking that I've probably had too much sugar today. Inui-senpai's furiously scribbling away, Kaidoh rolled his eyes...fsshhuuu...Taka-san's muttering something about "...not nice to make fun of Echizen...", whilst Fuji-senpai is just being his normal smiling, sadistic self and enjoying the show – he loves seeing other people suffer, especialy if he's not the one getting his hands dirty for it – seeing how much a sadist he is.

Ryoma's thoroughly annoyed at me by now. He could ignore the nickname – he knows that he'll always be 'Ryo-chan' to me, just as he's 'Ochibi' to Eiji-senpai – he just loathes me taking the mickey out of him...hahaha...this is so much fun...I am such a sadist...hahaha...

"Soujirou!"

I cringed at the sound of that commanding voice, knowing full well who it belongs to. I stop mid-dance with Ryoma's cap still in my hand. The court seemed to have frozen over, as icy and frozen as a lake in Antartica. And like me, other people are also stopped mid-action, that is, everybody except Inu-senpai, who kept on scribbling away data fevereshly in his notebook like there's no tomorrow.

"20 laps around the court, for making disturbances during practise!" Stoic-face captain booms, amber eyes expressionless behind glinting glasses.

"Mou...come on, Kun-kun..." I whined pathetically and puts on my best 'I'm-so-innocent-and-cute-that-you-can't-say-no' look, trying to fish for sympathy. B-I-G mistake!

A vein popped on Buchou's forehead as he practically deafens my ears with a, "MAKE THAT 30 LAPS! NOW!"

I stuck my tongue out at him and starts running before he could add more to the previous order. Really, he shouldn't have been so upstart, it was only a little harmless fun. Not like I was trying to kill anybody, unlike what's Inui-senpai has been doing with those 'juices' of his. Yes, I seriously think Inui-senpai is trying to kill us with them, just to pass away his time.

Where was I? Oh yeah...the laps...What did I do to deserve 30 laps out of the blue? I was just having a little fun, hey, wait...that only earned me 20, so what's the extra 10 for? Hmm...must be the name calling – he hates it when I call him that in front of other people.

I don't see what the big deal is, he let me call him Kun-nii when we're alone, so what's the big deal, right? But then again, THIS IS Tezuka Kunimitsu, I mean, THE Tezuka Kunimitsu – THE Bucou of THE Seigaku's Male Tennis Club. I guess he has a reputation to keep, can't have people addressing HIM with cute little fuzzy wuzzy nicknames, now, can he? Even though I've known him waaaay back before his captaincy era, he's still the buchou, right? I guess that entitles him to some respect, so, 'Kun-nii' is fine when we're alone, but in front of anybody else, it's always 'Tezuka-buchou'.

"20 laps for everyone else, for not stopping Soujirou, and slacking off!"

Everyone's groaning by now, they should've seen this coming...when Soujirou goes down for slacking, everyone else comes tumbling after...heeeheehee(Soujirou's evil grin)...there's nothing like taking the whole lot down with me...heeheehee...

Of course, if looks can kill, I'd be dead a hundred times over by now, seeing how the others are glaring daggers and laser beams at me through their eyes. Really, so ungrateful, after all the pleasures of running laps that I so humbly offer them, which they took quite willingly just a few minutes ago...sigh...how rude is that...hehehe...All right, I'm lying, they'd probably regretting having to know me in the first place, had they've known that I would be able to inflict such torment upon them, without much effort...heeheehee...this is fun.

Of course, someone else still has to pay for all these laps I'm being made to run. The gears in my brain starts clanking and working double speed. The others have already started their practise matches. Buchou's practising with Oishi-senpai, he'll be needing a cool and refreshing drink from his water bottle (read using the tone of a 100 Plus ad...hehehe...) after that. Target locked on! Kun-nii, prepare to meet your DOOM! MWAHAHAHAHAHA...(evil laugh, Mojo Jojo style).

With 30 laps of running done, I came back into the court jogging slightly to prevent cramps. Some of the regulars were already done and were taking a short break. Buchou's not done yet. I look aroud and see what I was searching for, his water bottle...heeheehee...come to me, my preciousss...heeheehee...this is going to be so much fun.

I saunter over to Inui-senpai and ask him if he has a new surprise juice for us.

"Yes, of course! As a matter of fact, I do!" he exclaims, joyed to think that someine finally cares for his toxic waste of a juice.

"I call it 'Inui's Deluxe Extravaganza Acme Thermal Hyper-remix Juice!" he proudly proclaims, beaming. (note that it spells D.E.A.T.H – death...hehe...). He probably thinks that I'm going to drink it. No way! I have far better plans for his vile toxics.

"Yeah, whatever..." was all I can say, as I flinch slightly at the name...DIE...hahaha... Taking the bottle out of his hand, I ask, "you DO have extras, right?"

"But of course!" he's radiating too much, I had to cover my poor eyes before I go blind. It won't do to be blind before I execute my mission, now, would it? Course not!

I looked around innocently, yosh...all clear, and I gleefully peel off the label of the bottle, replacing it with a label from Buchou's water bottle (I swapped the bottles, you idiots!).

The others are watching me. Fuji-senpai, eyes open with interest; Taka-san's eyeing me nervously; Momo and Eiji-senpai watching on, looking hopeful; Inui-senpai, pen poised, ready to take down more data; Kaidoh, rolling his eyes yet again...fsshhuu...

I walked away from the scene of the crime, calm as ever, and stand by Ryoma, who, without success is trying very hard to conceal his curiosity, cat-like eyes wide open and alert under the brim of his cap.

"Ne, Ryo-chan...shitteru? Curiosity kills the cat..." I remarked. He snorts.

I turned my attention back to the event at hand, and try to suppress the giggle that's threatening to erupt. Hurry it up and drink the juice already, Kun-nii.

Tezuka walks over to the bench with Oishi, sweat dripping ever so slightly from his face. He takes a towel from his bag and wiped his face, as does Oishi. He is aware, of course, of the eyes that are watching his every move. He wonderes slightly why, although it doesn't show on his face. It's as stony as ever, non-revealing and devoid of any emotions, yep, that's one Tezuka Kunimitsu all right – the ever so poker-faced captain of the tennis club.

He let the question slide off him, as he reached out for his water bottle, making sure it IS his bottle. He made a mistake by accidently grabbing Inui's bottle once, and ended up drinking the whole bottle of the vile content, he still shudders at the memory of it. Seeing the label with his name on it, seems to convince him, he drinks from it without realising the consequences that may befall him.

He doesn't realise it at first, and could not understand the strange taste coming from his supposedly plain water. He just stands there, blinking and drinking, until the taste gradually seeped in, funnier and wierder by every gulp. His face stars changing colour as he starts comprehending the fact that he is NOT drinking normal plain water.

The colour of his face changes yet again, to an undistinguishable shade of colour. He starts to choke and gasps for fresh air, filling his lungs with very much needed oxygen. He finally screams, as he rushes off to locate the nearest water tap and try to get the horrendous taste of the intoxicating liquid out of his mouth. The court erupts in hysterical laughter, the members just couldn't contain themselves any longer. It was too much of a joke to keep a staright face on and act innocent.

Me? Well, I'm definitely cackling, yes, cackling! Cackling like a mad witch that has just successfully poisoned an unaware victim...MWAHAHAHAHA...

Somewhere, Fuji-senpai smiles, blue eyes open with sadistic pleasure; Inui-senpai's scribbling away precious data(ii data...),frowning – thinking hard apparently; Kaidoh hissed (kaidoh Kaoru does NOT laugh, but merely hisses); Momo and Eiji-senpai are rolling with laughter; Oishi-senpai stood, still dumbfounded and confused (poor guy...); Taka-san sighs and smiles nervously (aww...he's too nice), that is, until someone slipped him a racket, at which he shouted, "MOERUZO! THAT WAS FUNNY!BURRNIIING!"; and Ryoma muttered, "mada mada dane, buchou...", smirking...

Hahaha...revenge is so sweet...or in this case, weird and pukefest tasting (?)

**OWARI**

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Reviews are welcomed...dozou, yoroshiku... 


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